A Note to Self.

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Dear Suzan, 

I did not want it to come to this, but well, you left me no option. First off, without mincing words, allow me ask: Do you really know who you are? Seriously, do you know who you are? Perhaps that’s too hard a question, how about, do you know whose child you are?   And please note: am not asking this in a calm and sweet voice, no! I am disappointed, furious and outraged! And I have good reasons to be. 

See, I don’t understand it when you wake up and start feeling sorry for yourself apparently because “everyone you know seems to have it going for them and you don’t.” I can’t begin to understand why you would ever look down on yourself even for a split second: so you think you cannot do it because Miss A, Miss B and Miss E just seem so much better? [You really can break my heart some times! ] Oh, and then there’s one of your favorite pass time: where you sit and worry about every piece, corner and part of your life. Tell me, when you spend hours and hours in that worry zone, do you ever leave feeling better, re-energized, refreshed or any other description along those lines? Do you ever feel like superman ready to conquer the world after any one of those episodes? Is there some secret source of happiness derived out of worrying that the rest of us are missing? Frankly, the last time I saw you after one of your worry episodes, you were a wreck! A complete wreck with no hope for the future whatsoever. You seemed to have come to the end of your line and you looked so beaten and worn out! So let me ask again: what do you always go back to worrying for? You are like those women that are always going back to abusive boyfriends: they know they might get beaten to the point of death but they still go back. 

Then there’s this part where you complain about the things not going right: you whine on and on and then eventually you cry! If you were a six month old baby, I would understand: they cry when they are hungry, they cry when they feel pain, they cry when they are irritated, they cry just because they want to cry! You, you are a full-grown adult and as such, you don’t have that privilege of crying over each and everything that seems not to be heading in the right direction! 

Seeing that you have forgotten the very basic things, I shall remind you: You are the child of a King! You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are loved, cherished and treasured beyond measure! If you are confused about your worth, always remember: a man gave his life for you! And this was no ordinary man: this man, by His word, created all the heavens and all the earth! When you start to think less of who you are, stop! There’s only one you in this world: no one can do the things you do half as well as you do them. And please do stop worrying! That man, the one who was nailed to the cross so you could live, the one who was beaten beyond recognition for your sake, that man will never leave nor forsake you! He sees your future long before you even live your past! He is the author and finisher of your faith! I mean, He created the heavens and the earth as beautifully as you can see them, what is that thing you think He cannot do? Does it even make sense to think that the guy who laid the foundations of the earth is not able to organize your life? Yes, every now and then, your life may appear really messed up and confusing but trust me, He always knows how to put it back in order. So why don’t you, once and for all, end that unhealthy relationship between you and worry? When worry knocks at your door, let him find you in the arms of your true lover: the man, Christ Jesus! And like I said before, you do not have the privilege of complaining, whining and crying: Christ Jesus has given you all the authority you ever needed in this world! That authority is in His Word. Speak forth the Word of God into your situation; refuse to settle for less than what you know God has given you! Those words you speak forth may seem ordinary but they are actually words of life! Don’t cry over situations, pray over them! Pray knowing that you have an answer because all promises are yes and Amen in Christ Jesus! 

Finally my dear, you are the child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, you are a child of God the Almighty: start living like you know who you are! 

With much love, 

Suzan.